Confession, I am awful at accepting help…

I cannot be the only one. I feel like this is a major flaw and I am reaching out in an attempt to rework this habit.

Being the mother of 4, two super busy big kids, one busy body 2 year old and a tiny almost 6 month old special needs baby my plate is a little full. I would not have it any other way either, just to be clear. Being a mama has been the one thing that my heart has been set on since I was a little girl. But some days I feel like I cannot breathe, and a lot of it, when I stop and really think, is aided by the way I handle this beautiful chaos called “life”. I have a husband that is starting up a business and is doing this as a one man show, to say he is busy would be a sliver of what it is actually called. On top of that he travels out of state every few weeks for work, thankfully now he is only out about a week (crossing my fingers the longer jaunts are off the table, at least for a bit).

So here’s the thing, I need help. Ok let’s say that differently, if I had a little help I would not feel as crazy some, ok most days, I feel like I am running in a million directions basically 24/7 since I am running on fumes (sleep is a thing that has been quite far from my reality for a bit).  So my problem, even when I feel like  I am walking a tight rope and juggling balls of lava and someone eithers offers to help, picks up something to help me or is just present but not helping (normal people would be ok with asking for a hand) I for some reason feel like I am less of a mom, wife, woman if I am not doing it all solo. If someone just jumps in, or if they say “just sit down with your baby” I feel completely uneasy and cannot relax. I feel totally lazy or useless actually I’m not even 100% sure what to call it. All I know is, it is really starting to bother me and for years it has bothered my husband. I personally think it started early on in our marriage, he used to work on the road for weeks at a time, soon followed by him enlisting in the Army, while he was gone it was on me. He used to say, & even still will say, “I am here now, you don’t have to do this on your own.” so why can’t I figure out a good balance. I am pleading with you other mama’s for advice…HELP…

Author: kasstu

I am a wifey & have been with my husband since 2001, we have 5 amazing kids who I have been able to stay home & raise. Life is a constant lesson & I'm thankful for the growth. Trying to remember to see the good in all things & to trust my journey. 💚

2 thoughts on “Confession, I am awful at accepting help…”

  1. Some how I came across your Instagram then ypur blog. I’m a mother but of only 2….. but relate to you so well! Some of your words seem like they are coming from my soul and your reading my heart and mind! Thank you for sharing

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s