I have been thinking a lot about this lately. I hear all the time that as mothers we need to do something for ourselves, do something that grows us as a person & not get in the rut of just being a mom. And I agree with this to a point. I feel like we should go out with our girlfriends, or take a class of some sort for just us or whatever it is you feel you’d like to do… but, by solely being a mother I feel deep growth within myself, too.
I have been in this motherhood gig for almost 13 years, it is something I have always wanted to do. I pictured us having two kids for a long time especially after I was told I could no longer conceive or carry a baby & then our surprise, miracle baby showed up spacing an 8 &1/2 years a gap between herself and our older two. And now as of today we have 4 kids. Big gaps, lots of different stages, lots of crazy days, but a whole lot of love & laughter. Even in the very middle of the very craziest days & days where I feel like I don’t even have time to eat or shower I am evolving as a person.
In these last 13 years I have learned so much about myself. My kids teach me things everyday and they have grown me into a better person. Motherhood is a lot of ups and downs, a lot of challenges, tears and wondering if you are doing things right. And just when you think you might have semi figured out something or a stage a new one arises & rocks your boat & what worked for your previous kiddos isn’t cutting it at all this time around. And in these times you learn so much about you, the way you handle a situation, or the way you see your child respond to your reaction will drive you in one direction or the next & make you view yourself a new way. I am for certain without my days as a mother I would not be who I am. Each one of them have shown me a new piece or layer to myself. Each one of their personalities is so different and I have had to adapt to that and in that learn so much.
Motherhood is so far my very sweetest slice of life. I am hanging on to each chapter for dear life. Not that I don’t appreciate each stage but with my big gap and thinking we were done I feel like I have seen how fast this time rolls by & I feel like I have been gifted more time in these chapters and I am more than grateful everyday. I never feel like I am not doing enough for me by “just being a mom”.