Having a child who has a label is defiantly a new experience. Others are always wondering and asking what he can and cannot do, if he will need a wheelchair or when he might start acting like a “typical kid”, yes those words have been said to me more than once. And you know what? I could drive myself crazy with worry. The what ifs could literally go on and on…and on!
Yes, this tiny guy of mine is different, he is 13 months old and there is still a lot that physically he is behind on. I can see it, and I know that this will factor into his life, probably for a while if not always. But really don’t we all worry about our babies? Ok so my worry might have kicked up a bit early this time & it hurts my mama heart that he will more than likely struggle with certain things throughout his life. that come so easy to others. But I promise you my mama heart has worries, big and small, for all 5 of my kids. I wish hard stuff didn’t have to happen but it is life. We all have different paths & we all have different heartaches, and all of it makes us who we are. We can choose to make hardships an aide in our strength or we can focus solely on the hardships and make them bigger, make them more visible. I don’t want him to feel like he needs to be sad about who he is, or that any of us do for that matter. I choose to look at Kenai like just that, Kenai. He is nothing else. He is not a label. He is not typical. He is Kenai and I will not pour energy into things I cannot change or make parts of him and his life seem like they are unfortunate. I want him to know I love him, exactly as he is. Just like I love all of my kids. I will worry for him, just like I will worry for all of my kids, that is what mother’s do. But I will not focus on aspects of him that aren’t the same as everyone else. I am not trying to make sure he is on a scale with the rest of the babies his age, or above like some do. As long as he is moving up on his scale my heart is happy. We all have flaws and differences and that is what makes this world beautiful.